The Attachment Confessions

Attachment Healing Journey Update

What's up, guys! Thank you so much for joining me for episode 13 of The Attachment Confessions!
As mentioned on previous episodes, I've been participating in attachment expert Dr. Sarah Hensley's virtual group coaching program aimed at learning the tools needed to earn my attachment security. I just wrapped up the program last week.
On today's episode, I'm giving you all the scoop on how everything went. Spoiler alert – it was SO good, you guys! Along with giving major props to Dr. Hensley, I walk you through each of the 4 weeks, sharing some highlights of my experience while giving you the deets on what to expect throughout each session.
Whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, or a fellow Fearful Avoidant – if you're serious about healing and earning your attachment security, Dr. Hensley's program is 1,000% worth it.
Check out all her services at her website below, including a direct link to the hybrid group coaching program:
The Love Doc | Relationship Coaching Services
Hybrid Group Coaching Program
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing adventure. My hope is by bringing attachment science to those of you who have never heard of it before and by sharing my own story,  you'll also be inspired to embark on your own attachment healing journey – just like me. That's my hope, at least!  
xo - Chelsea
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Dismissive Avoidant Guest Lived Experience Feat. Brent Stokes [Part 2]

Happy Wednesday, everyone! Welcome back to The Attachment Confessions!
Today's episode features part 2 of our conversation with Brent Stokes – our very first lived-experience Dismissive Avoidant guest.
Last week, Brent took us on a journey through his childhood, highlighting how his dismissive avoidant insecure attachment formed. 
On today's episode, we are continuing the convo, diving into Brent's romantic history and getting a peek behind the curtain of how his DA tendencies played out in his marriage. 
We also chat through where Brent is now in his journey, now that he's discovered attachment science thanks to listening to The Attachment Confessions ;)
One of the resources we discuss is social psychologist/attachment expert Dr. Sarah Hensley's 4-week hybrid group coaching, which I am in the middle of participating in, learning all the tools to earn my attachment security. Check out all of Dr. Hensley's services here:
The Love Doc | Relationship Coaching Services
HUGE shout out to Brent for being so awesome and open about his attachment journey!!
If you'd like to be considered for a future Guest Lived Experience episode, DM me on Instagram at The Attachment Confessions (especially if you're an Anxious Preoccupied!)
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing adventure. We'll get into some pretty deep topics but have ourselves a good 'ol time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey – just like Brent. That's my hope, at least!  
xo - Chelsea
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Dismissive Avoidant Guest Lived Experience Feat. Brent Stokes [Part 1]

What's up, everybody! Welcome back to The Attachment Confessions!
On today's episode, I'm SUPER pumped to introduce you guys to a brand-new series we'll be doing from time to time here on The Attachment Confessions – Guest Lived Experiences! 
My confessions fam knows my Fearful Avoidant woes all too well, so I figured we should spice things up and have other peeps from different walks of life and across all ends of the attachment spectrum join the pod to give us an insider's view of what it's like to walk a mile in their insecurely-attached shoes.
Our very first lived-experience guest is Brent Stokes – a Dismissive Avoidant. For part 1, Brent takes us all on a trip down memory lane, highlighting how his dismissive avoidant insecure attachment formed in childhood.
Be sure to tune-in next Wednesday for part 2, where Brent will give us the deets on how his formed DA attachment went on to impact his romantic relationships, and how he's now in the process of figuring out how to earn his attachment security.
Both episodes are sure to bring a whole new perspective to The Attachment Confessions, so I can't wait for you guys to listen!
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty deep topics but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey – just like Brent. That's my hope, at least!  
xo - Chelsea
P.S. – Be sure to follow the pod on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions and DM me your burning attachment-related questions so that your question can be featured/answered on an upcoming Q&A episode of The Attachment Confessions!
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

The Narcissist / Codependent Toxic Relationship Dynamic

What's up, everyone! Welcome to The Attachment Confessions!
We've made it to episode 10 – double digits, baby!
Today we are taking our previous discussion on narcissism a step further and examining the most painful duo that exists – the narcissist / codependent toxic relationship dynamic. 
From an attachment lens, the codependent partner subconsciously enters relationships with their anxious attachment in the driver's seat, leaving them totally vulnerable to the charm, manipulation, and control of the narcissist. Whether they are an Anxious Preoccupied or a Fearful Avoidant that leans anxious, the pairing of the codependent with the narcissist proves to be the perfect storm and unfortunately, is all too common. 
In this episode, we'll do a deep dive into the many reasons why these two tend to gravitate toward each other, the behaviors that each bring to the relationship, and the destruction that inevitably ensues.
In true Attachment Confessions fashion, you'll get a closer glimpse behind the curtain of my toxic covert narcissist relationship. It was hell, but by the grace of God, I made it through to the other side.
If you find yourself in a similar situation where you feel there is no escape, listen up. You, too, can break free from the agonizing narcissistic stronghold.
Check out attachment expert Dr. Sarah Hensley's hybrid group coaching services if you're serious about breaking your painful relationship patterns and healing your attachment, just like I am!
The Love Doc Hybrid Group Coaching
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy topics but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!  
xo - Chelsea
P.S. – Be sure to follow the pod on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions and DM me your burning attachment-related questions so that your question can be featured/answered on an upcoming Q&A episode of The Attachment Confessions!
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Attachment vs Narcissism: How to Tell the Difference — and Why It Matters for Your Healing

Hey everybody! Welcome to episode 9 of The Attachment Confessions!
On today’s episode, we're doing a deep dive into a topic that a number of you have asked me about – narcissists. Particularly, where does narcissism fall on the attachment spectrum? When it comes to how the two of these coincide, there actually is no correlation at all whatsoever.
Narcissism is a highly complex psychological construct that can wreak havoc in all areas of someone’s life that struggles with this issue, especially in their romantic relationships. 
We'll be chatting through the differences between attachment and narcissism, digging into the varying levels of narcissism, and going over the different types of narcissism.
The science shows that whether you are an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, a Fearful Avoidant, or a Securely Attached individual – narcissism is a totally different psychological construct than attachment. 
After having experienced many years of abuse from a covert narcissist myself that I am now SO thankful to refer to as my ex, I'm here to lay out all the signs of narcissism for you guys, so that you can hopefully spot a narcissist quicker than I was able to.
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty disturbing topics from time to time. But – opening our eyes and seeing things for what they truly are can often be the catalyst we need to experience peace in our lives.
And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey and finally break free from anyone in your life that doesn't deserve to be in your orbit. That's my hope, at least!  
xo - Chelsea
P.S. – Be sure to follow the pod on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions and DM me your burning attachment-related questions, so that your question can be featured/answered on an upcoming Q&A episode of The Attachment Confessions!
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Should I Break Up or Stay? How Attachment Styles Affect the Hardest Relationship Decision

What’s up, everybody! Welcome to EPISODE 8 of The Attachment Confessions!!
Guys – We’ve hit a milestone making it this far. Fun fact – 90% of podcasts don’t make it past episode 7, which is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. But here we are, episode 8 baby! Thank you so much for giving me space in your life and joining me on this attachment healing adventure! It seriously means the world *insert joyful teary-eyed emoji*
On today’s episode, we are wrapping up our 3-part breakup series by examining when a relationship that’s gone splitsville is salvageable versus ending things for good.
We’ll dive into the most common reasons why couples call it quits, chat through which circumstances are definite deal-breakers vs which love stories stand a chance of being revived, and finish things by going over some solid advice from attachment expert Thais Gibson on how to approach your ex if getting back together is on your wish list. 
For the sagas that are worth saving – understanding both your and your partner’s attachment styles can make all the difference in the world of setting your relationship re-do up for success. 
Whether you’re an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, a Fearful Avoidant, or Securely Attached – knowing when to keep trying or when to throw in the towel forever can be a confusing time in anyone’s love life. Having a better understanding of what is and is not worth fighting for can help give both partners the clarity needed to make the best decision – to continue or not to continue. 
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty intense topics but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey and finally have the tools needed to experience break-up or make-up clarity in your love life. That's my hope, at least!  
xo - Chelsea
P.S. – Be sure to follow the pod on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions and DM me your burning attachment-related questions so that your question can be featured/answered on an upcoming Q&A episode of The Attachment Confessions!
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Breakup Pro Tip for Every Attachment Style: The No-Contact Rule

What's up, guys! Thanks so much for stopping by for episode 7 of The Attachment Confessions!
Today we're continuing our breakup series with an episode featuring some sure-fire ways to stay strong during the dreadful post-breakup season, including a spotlight on one pro tip in particular that has gained massive popularity over the last few years among attachment experts and relationship coaches alike – The No-Contact Rule.
Breakups are one of life's major valleys of heartbreak, so the more {actually} helpful guidance we can get in order to navigate these brutal breakup waves, the better! 
In this episode we'll discuss how each attachment style responds to the no-contact rule, the 10 reasons why this breakup technique works, and how to effectively implement and stick to the no-contact rule – God forbid you find yourself in another relationship demise.
So, whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, a Fearful Avoidant, or Securely Attached, this episode packs a ton of powerful advice that will better equip you to come out on the other side of your split stronger and healthier than ever!
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy stuff but have ourselves a good time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey and master the breakup game like a champ. That's my hope, at least!  
xo – Chelsea
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Breakups: How Each Attachment Style Handles Splitting Up

What's up, everyone! Welcome back for episode 6 of The Attachment Confessions!
Today's episode centers around one of the questions I get asked most about when it comes to attachment – Breakups.
UGH. Breakups. The dreaded B word. 
Breakups. Are. The. Worst. 
But just like so many other things when it comes to how we handle the highs and lows of relationshipping, there's actually a science behind how each attachment style grapples with breaking up. Just when you thought attachment theory couldn't get any more fascinating!
On episode 6, we're diving into how Anxious Preoccupieds, Dismissive Avoidants, Fearful Avoidants (guilty as charged!), and Secures ride the emotional wave of going splitsville.
I also open up about how I've been managing my recent breakup. Although it's been extremely painful over the last three months, setting out on my attachment healing journey has made SUCH a monumental difference in how I'd be handling things, had I not discovered attachment science. I'm pretty proud of myself, to be honest!
So, put on your fave comfy pants, grab a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and let's chat about what seems to be one of the hottest topics y'all have been asking me about since starting this pod.
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty gut-wrenching stuff but have ourselves a good 'ol time while doing so! And who knows, maybe you'll be inspired to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!  
xo – Chelsea
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Why Fostering Secure Attachment In Our Kids Is So Crucial

Hello everybody! Welcome to The Attachment Confessions!
Thanks so much for joining me for Episode 5 – Why Fostering Secure Attachment In Our Kids Is So Crucial.
In today's episode, we take a deeper dive into one of the early attachment experiments that our guest from episode 4, Brie Neil, mentioned toward the beginning of our conversation – Mary Ainsworth's 'Strange Situation' experiment. This experiment is what piqued Brie's interest in attachment science, and I gotta tell you, I was already obsessed with attachment before, but learning about the 'Strange Situation' catapulted my obsession to new heights!
We'll discuss how Ainsworth's groundbreaking findings truly confirmed and shaped attachment theory as we know it today, and how cultivating a secure attachment in our children is so pivotal in how they will experience relationships for the rest of their lives. 
The kicker, though? It is nearly impossible to foster a secure attachment in our kids if we, as parents, do not have a secure attachment of our own. This just further goes to show yet another reason healing our insecure attachment is so critical.
Now, if you're thinking, "Oh, great! I've already totally messed up this whole parenting thing!!" – Remember guys, attachment is learned. This can all be unlearned. Healing is possible, for both you and your child! All you have to do is take the first step toward healing.
Resources to check out that I mention for better understanding and healing your insecure attachment: 
Brie Neil – LPC & Attachment Specialist (guest from episode 4). Check out her services at Thrive Counseling Clinic's website
Thais Gibson's book Attachment Theory: A Guide to Strengthening the Relationships in Your Life
Adam Levine & Rachel Heller's book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find-and Keep-Love
Bessel van der Kolk's #1 New York Times bestseller The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Dr. Sarah Hensley – Social Psychologist and world-renowned attachment and attraction expert's services at The Love Doc | Relationship Coaching Services
Whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, or a Fearful Avoidant – it is never too late to heal your insecure attachment. And it is also never too late to course-correct the attachment you've been cultivating in your child.
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy, interesting stuff, but have ourselves a good 'ol time while doing so! And who knows, maybe this deep dive into Mary Ainsworth's 'Strange Situation' will inspire you to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!
xo – Chelsea
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout

Attachment Specialist Brie Neil Joins the Pod!

What's up, guys! Happy Wednesday!
I am SO incredibly excited to have my VERY FIRST guest on the pod with me today!!!
Brie Neil joins The Attachment Confessions to nerd-out with me on all things attachment science!
Brie is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in attachment. She is the owner of Thrive Counseling Clinic in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she focuses on individual therapy, couples therapy, and addiction counseling. 
Today she is bringing her attachment theory expertise and answering some of my burning questions. You are in for a treat!!
We wrap up by discussing a quote from her website that has resonated with me over the last couple years since I first heard it. It beautifully sums up what healing your insecure attachment can do, not just for you, but for generations to come:
"Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow." -Terry Real
If you live in Oklahoma and want to connect with Brie for healing your attachment, you can email her at brie@thrivecounselingclinic.com or visit her website at Thrive Counseling Clinic for more information and other ways to get in contact with her.
Whether you're an Anxious Preoccupied, a Dismissive Avoidant, or a Fearful Avoidant – Brie's seen it all and has guided countless clients through the attachment healing process using proven therapeutic techniques. 
Here on The Attachment Confessions, you'll have a ring-side seat to my attachment healing journey. We'll get into some pretty heavy stuff, but have ourselves a good 'ol time while doing so! And who knows, maybe this convo with Brie will inspire you to ALSO embark on your own attachment healing journey. That's my hope, at least!
xo – Chelsea
>>Want 15% off awesome, faith-inspired clothing and accessories? Check out Dwell.Apparel and use my referral link to get this discount!
https://dwellapparel.com/?ref=chelsea15
OR use discount code CHELSEASCOTT at checkout